My Story

When asked to write an article on transformation for ACT’s first newsletter, I reflected on my own experience. In 1995, I had a mystical experience that transformed my life. It seemed to have come in an instant, yet in retrospect I realized that I had been going through many changes that led up to this awakening, this releasing, this birthing. I was open, ready and willing to step into new territory.

Light, Order, Truth, Union, Spirit

In 1987, significant changes began in my life. Up to then, I was in an almost automatic/robotic role of what society had conditioned this small town southern girl to be. My happiness was tied up in other people’s happiness and my goal was acceptance. However, during that time something else was also stirring in me. I started testing some of my beliefs by trying different behaviors and asserting myself occasionally. I began to choose how and what I wanted to be and do. Those choices guided my evolution into unknown and unfamiliar territory as my thoughts and feelings shifted. I became conscious – aware, awake. At first it was gradual – studying, reading, meditating, sharing and discussing philosophies and heart-centered truths with like-minded people. I began choosing where I wanted to be in my off-work hours and with whom.

People I began attracting into my life were on a similar journey of discovery and the unfolding was, and is, challenging and exhilarating. I was open to, and ready for, new possibilities. I had choice! My beliefs and habits changed. For example, I used to want to sleep-in as late as I could in the morning; however, during my changing, I could hardly wait to get up so that I could meditate before the rest of the family awoke. Also, my beliefs about myself changed. I began to really love me – my essence. I no longer consistently held the thought that I wasn’t good enough or worthy or that everyone else’s views and feelings mattered more than mine.

Many unexplainable happenings began occurring for me such as waking up in the middle of the night and undeniably seeing my arms and hands as total light. A series of similar events lead me to pursue a spiritual healing/teaching path. Even though I thought that I was to help others, it became clear that the healing was for me and I stepped fully into the learning and practicing of Reiki and Energy Psychology. My psychic abilities and intuition were enhanced and I began to trust a source much greater than I can explain or conceive.

After a few years of experiencing and becoming comfortable in this new and exciting space, I began to feel restless – my every day job seemed meaningless. I didn’t feel that I was on purpose and I was confused about what to do or where to turn. As I look back now, I was probably depressed and my persistent inner guidance kept pulling me in a direction I could not ignore. I kept meditating – asking for signs – and they came! Opportunities were presented and I decided to take a six-week sabbatical for my own personal development, actually for my soul development.

R&R — Resistance and Risk — Stepping into unfamiliar, new territory was scary. I risked losing the very things I thought I had to have – my job, husband, family and friends. I risked being talked about and considered crazy but I was determined to follow the call of my soul. For the first time in my life, I didn’t care what people thought about me. It was more important for me to be true to myself. With amazing courage, I stood up to all resistances – inner and outer. A powerful energy supported my every move and “the crooked way was made straight.”

I had prepared the fertile soil for the flowering spiritual revelation which I experienced in the summer of 1995. After many synchronistic happenings, my epiphany occurred. I was attending a personal development seminar in New Jersey and was selected to represent the participants in a demonstration. My whole beingness was transformed in what seemed like an instant and I saw the world from a whole new perspective. It was a remembering, a rebirth, a healing, and a revealing. All doubts of a Divine Power of Oneness dissipated as I reveled in the knowledge of who and what I really am and where I came from. The level of my frequency/vibration allowed me to transcend this physical world into the non-physical world where I was pure consciousness. I was formless, merged with the Light, yet I was aware of my thoughts and feelings. I was in ecstasy and I wanted to stay in that place and dance forever; however, it was my time to come to Earth. Entering through the birth canal and returning to physical awareness was disorienting as I birthed my Self. It created in me a great compassion and respect for all who are incarnated at this time. I also gained an understanding of how thin the veil is between dimensions.

The evolution continues. During 2000, in dreams and meditations, alone and in groups, I received many messages from Spirit – some didn’t make sense to me initially but eventually I had a “knowing” that I was to put out a call to the community. With support of friends, I placed an ad in the local newspaper and gave out announcements. The ad read:

Have you ever felt or had a vision that you were to be part of creating a healing center? If so, then this announcement might be for you.

Looking for organizations and individuals to co-create a multi-purpose center to promote and provide spiritual well being, holistic health, the healing arts and peace.

A meeting of interested parties will take place on Sunday, February 4, 2001, in Annapolis. Call Linda Roebuck at (410) 757-1127 by January 16 to register or for more information.

Almost one hundred people showed up for that meeting – the beginning of A Center of Transformation (ACT). The co-creation process began and continues to unfold – though differently than I thought. ACT is a constant reminder to me of how the Universe works. It represents a paradigm shift of how we operate in the world based on an inclusive, non hierarchical premise that honors everyone equally. We are remembering that how we are together is as important, if not more so, than what we do. Each ACT member has a respected role to play in the co-creation process. That role, that energy, is missing when he or she does not fully “show up.”

Transformation requires trust as we joyfully take creative next steps without having to know or be in charge of the outcome. Conscious awareness of several key factors assists one in the process of change. They include the following:

  • Know yourself
  • Love yourself and others unconditionally
  • Show up fully in present time
  • Release attachment to outcome
  • Trust in the Universe

Transformation, occurring individually and collectively, impacts all levels of one’s being – physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual. It allows us to transition beyond a formed belief, feeling, or expectation to a higher plane of existence. Following inner guidance, releasing personal will to Higher Will, and being open, willing and ready to do what shows up to be done, moves us along the evolutionary path. Let’s fertilize the soil of our soul with a strong intention of purpose and commitment to our essence as we participate in transforming the world. Namaste. Linda